Since this month began (you know, Women’s History Month, the month that’s supposed to make me happy and proud) I have been bombarded with overwhelming true stories of ridiculous hate crimes and it’s fucking appalling. There is no other word for what’s been going on.
First, there’s the story of George Hodgins, the 22-year-old autistic man who was killed by his mother in a murder-suicide that will likely be remembered as another “act of desperation from a long-suffering mother” instead of the despicable murder it really was. The next thing was the murder of the 28-year-old Mexican transgender activist Agnes Torres. Unlike George, she was not killed by her own parent, but she was the sixth member of the LGBTQ community to be murdered in the town of Puebla since January. Now, on the heels of these horrific stories I’m learning about (but, sadly, am no stranger to) comes a Twitter trend so disturbing that I have to put my foot down and address it.
Expecting parents and people who fantasize about someday having children often write letters or make promises to their offspring about how they intend to raise them. I know that when my sister was pregnant with her first child, she wrote a letter of undying love and unconditional support to him. Similarly, my girlfriend often vows that anyone who dares to hurt her future babies will suffer unimaginable pain. This is typical, protective, parental devotion. What is decidedly not “protective,” “parental,” or a display of “devotion” by any stretch of the imagination is the string of unsavory and homophobic tweets found on the hashtag #ToMyUnbornChild, a trend which has been absolutely blowing up recently.
Here are just some of the grotesque things people have been tweeting:
So basically, I am praying that every single one of these people just puts the kid up for adoption instantly so that someone who would actually like to be a parent can have a chance. Or, they should get an abortion- and that brings me to my Women’s History Month angle. The way I understand it, Republicans are all gnashing their nails because sexually active (and responsible) people all over the country have the outlandish idea that they are entitled to reproductive rights. This includes access to contraceptives and birth control as well as the right to abort the unwanted fetuses they have become impregnated with. Scary stuff indeed. It is so scary, in fact, that women were not allowed to attend the meetings in which these issues were discussed (the Republican Hearing on Contraception). Anyone with a uterus (i.e. the people who typically become pregnant) was automatically disqualified from these hearings.
Apparently, the only people allowed to attend the hearings were people who would rather let unwanted and unloved babies grow up and be murdered at the hands of their own parents than allow the unfit parents-to-be to abort the potentially gay fetus they so despise. A fetus is not a living being; a baby is. When a person gives birth to the thing that they were carrying in their womb during their pregnancy, when that creature breathes air independently for the first time, that is when it is another living being. So, abortion is not murder. And even if everything I've said is suddenly rendered inaccurate and this debate regarding the abortion/murder struggle becomes more clouded than it currently is, you know what is a perfectly simple example of murder? Killing your 22-year-old son because you consider him a burden. That is homicide, straight up, and sympathy for that is disgusting. Killing your gay child would also be an example of murder, but I guess not many Republicans would care to back me up on that observation.
As an unwanted child myself, it disgusts me to think that someone should have to grow up knowing that their parents hate their very existence. Whether it’s because they are gay, bisexual, autistic, transgender, or just happened to be born to people who didn’t want them, no one should live in fear of one day being murdered by anyone, least of all their own parents. That is fucking disgraceful.
So, To My Unborn Child (the one I’m not planning to have any time within the next ten years, if at all),
I really wish I could promise you a world that does not suck at its very core. I wish that when you are born, you don’t have to endure this despicable environment that champions ignorance and hate and snuffs out any sign of deviation at the source. I wish that I could give you assurance that the people you meet would only judge you based on your character, like Martin Luther King preached, but I can’t and for that I apologize. I’m sorry that I couldn’t do more to change the harmful way that people think and act to make this world safer for you.
The only thing I can promise to do is raise you with unconditional love and support from my heart- even if you do end up being straight.